Living of Love

I've probably talked about love on this blog more than anything. (With possible exceptions of Hebrew and my 5k training.) There's a reason. And it is this:

"Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet.' and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law." -Romans 13:8-10

I don't know if I can properly articulate how important it is to love. I'll try. Colossians will help: "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry...But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do no lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator... Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (vs. 5,9-10,12-15)

Love is incompatible with these things that we must put off. Incompatible. The love that Jesus has placed in my heart cannot reside in the same place with slander and obscene talk, anger and lies--for those are not love. We are called to great love. We are commanded to love. That is what we are to do, what we are to be. 

Love is active, love is a way of life. Love is in our thoughts, words, and deeds. Love is thorough. Love is unconditional. I've been amazed at the love of others often. They just tell me they love me and treat me so kindly and fully care about me--and I just think how they barely know me-how can they love me? Yet they understand and live love. It is not about if they know someone. Their love for me is not based on them knowing me. (For then what, it is based on my traits and actions? Oh, for sometimes they are good, but sometimes, oh, all too often, they are bad.) It is just pure and unconditional. Real love's pretty amazing like that. 

Obviously, this is something I've been thinking on and learning a lot this semester. And it really really has changed me. It's honestly helping me, understanding love and its importance. It is not easy, because true love is selfless. And this is about what--who we are to be. Who we are to serve. Who we are to love. (E'rybody.) 

"If the days aren't easy and the nights are rough, When they ask you what you're thinking of, Say love, Say for me love." 

(Love me some Avett.)

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have  prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." -1 Corinthians 13:1-2

--

Be gone, pride: Be full, heart.

Lately There's Been Love

I should be studying Hebrew, but I want to get something posted. I've had lots of ideas lately, just not as much time.

So what have I been doing instead of blogging?

• 5k training woooop! (should the "k" be capitalized?)
• Reading the first few pages of Augustine's Confessions. !!!!!! Hopefully I can write more about him later.
• Hebrew! I have big quizzes tomorrow to take. I should be studying. Why am I not? 1. I'm lazy 2. I'm feeling fairly confident. Whaaaattt??? I'll study after I write this and tomorrow before I test, no worries.
• Other homeworks, struggle bus-ing in Ancient, group project-ing in Globalization, and um... some Judaism (currently figuring out my final paper topic)
• MAKING NEW FRIENDS! It has been wonderful. In the past week, I've told 3 people I've wanted to be their friends. I'm so bold, it kinda scares me. Seriously.
• Eating way too much candy and other sugars. Oops.
• Being overwhelmed by the love of Christ in others. Another thing I will hopefully write more about later.

So, newest friend story! There's this girl who does the announcements on Wednesday night CCF services and I decided I was going to introduce myself sometime. (Boldness, you know.) Tonight, before service, we were both in the bathroom, and I was seriously going to introduce myself as soon as I washed my hands, and then she did it as I was washing my hands! Because we were both wearing sweatshirts and scarves, a typical outfit for both of us. :) Then in announcements she gave me a shout-out! After service, we met up, exchanged numbers and talked about warm drinks and I said I had wanted to be her friend. I can't even contain that stuff anymore apparently. Anyway, Sarah Perry and I are going to be friends. 

I read passages out loud from the Bible today! I actually really reallllyyy enjoyed it! I absolutely recommend it. Do it. It made me just love passages... Which is great, but as I was trying to find something for my talk at next week's Te Deum, it was also slightly frustrating--I can't talk about everything! Liking lots of the Bible is a good thing, though. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg This is a gem.

http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2011/11/hearing-your-name-for-the-first-time/ This also is really good.

Isaiah is goooood. Chapter 43 is good. As is 44. I read 43 and the first part of 44 earlier. Here is 44:1-5:

"But now hear, O Jacob my servant, Israel whom I have chosen! Thus says the Lord who made you, who formed you from the womb and will help you: Fear not, O Jacob my servant, Jeshurun whom I have chosen. For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my Spirit upon our offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They shall spring up among the grass like willows by flowing streams. This one will say, 'I am the Lord's,' another will call on the name of Jacob, and another will write on his hand, 'The Lord's,' and name himself by the name of Israel."

I like that a lot.

Love.

Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise

I feel bad when I take so long to post again! Oops! I meant to like last Tuesday... and then I guess last week got crazy? Then this week ended up being crazier than I thought.Oh, well. So... things that have been happening:

I talked to the dean (my bff, Lou Ann) about counseling as a profession. It made me more excited to possibly do this. However, I'm still at the whole unable to give up theology and philosophy studies and just wanting to that more in-depth. The study of counseling is nowhere near my passion. Helping people is, however. And this is my first solid idea of how to do that.

Got lost in Kierkegaard a bit the other day. My favorite two (ish) pages of Kierkegaard is his section Gilleleie, August 1, 1835 in his Journals. (Granted I have not read much Kierkegaard. But it's my favorite of what I have.) I've underlined about a quarter of it.

...What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know, except in so far as a certain understanding must precede every action. The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wishes me to do; the thing is to find the truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die.

Lookit! (Dr. Appold reference) I was just going to pick my favorite part, and there is goes being applicable to my previous paragraph!

I CARVED MY VERY FIRST PUMPKIN EVER TODAY.

My pumpkin baby. :)

 I also keep typing "pumpking" instead of pumpkin.

Hebrew's been slaying me. Actually, just one day. I broke down in the SUB. Classy. But I'm going to take it again next semester. Inflicting non-required stress upon myself. typicaltrumanstudent Speaking of, I asked my Hebrew tutor and his wife (PHRE graduates) to help me pick out my classes for next semester since my advisor doesn't really advise me. Loooooved it.

I helped with CCF Men's Progressive Dinner tonight. So much fun. It honestly was a delight to watch the boys get super excited about food and playing video games.

I love fall. Like, a lot. It makes me happy. I've cried a decent amount this semester. And I've been laughing a lot more. And a lot more easily. I'm terrified of spiders. My friends are beautiful souls.


*The song title that is my post title sums up this post amazingly in my mind. You may not see it, but that's how I feel about the conglomeration of things written here. Except maybe the spider part. That was just a fact about me.

We're Halfway There

midtermbreakmidtermbreakmidtermbreak


Gahhhhh.


I seriously don't know if I've ever wanted a break this badly before. This semester is trying to beat me down. BUT TOMORROW I AM GOING TO KANSAS CITY. I have nothing left to doooooooo! I just have to go to class and pack! I hate packing! But whatever! So I'm not doing anything tonight. After lunch tomorrow I'll probably throw some stuff in my car, get gas and gooooo. I'm so so so excited to see my family there. 


I'm wearing a big yellow bow in my hair. Pulling. It. Off.


Still listening to Foster the People a lot. Also, I came up with a name for my friend's band: The Ambivalence Conundrum. I think they should use it. (For the record, my first pick was Unicorn Ambivalence.)


So, I'm trying to figure out my classes for next semester. I really want to make it so that I don't have class on Friday. Because it's a very real possibility. However, it's looking like that might mean 4 class (ALL my classes) on Tuesday and Thursday. BUT two of the classes I want to take are at the same time. Classes I want to take: Sociology of Family, Christianity, Faith and Reason in Christian Thought, and Hebrew. I think. But Sociology of Family and Christianity are at the same time. :/ These are pretty much the only classes I want to take, too. I'm going to keep pouring over the course list, trying to figure things out.


Exciting: Since I am at this point planning on getting my masters in counseling and the dean of student affairs (also in charge of my scholarship program) has a degree in counseling and used to be head of University Counseling Services, I emailed the dean and asked if I could meet with her and get advice. Yay!


Midterm break should be hecka Hebrew time. That's what should happen. I really want to beast that class. I need to work on my motivation.


So. Even though the plan is currently a masters in counseling, at dinner, a friend who's planning to go to seminary was talking. And I was talking yesterday to a friend about philosophical theology. And I can't imagine staying away from these things. So, I will probably either have to go to sem to get my masters and take some awesome classes while taking counseling ones. OR... I'll have to get another degree in addition to (or instead of?) counseling. decisiones.


Everything is pointing me to this (I cannot ignore): "A new commandment I give to you,that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ~John 13:34-35

"Help, Save, Comfort, and Defend."

I'm not sure what on earth is more beautiful than an early morning fall drive from Kirksville to Memphis. I wish I had a picture to illustrate it, but I just soaked it up. Seriously, just take part of the drive yourself. Worth it. It's one of my favorite drives scenery-wise at any time, not just fall mornings. Gorgeous.

I love liturgy. I love order and constancy and truth.

"Help, save, comfort, and defend us, Gracious Lord" is my favorite line in the Lutheran liturgy. It makes my heart happy to hear it Sunday mornings. Also it makes me feel safe.

These things are among the best things of Sundays.

I am in love with Foster the People's album Torches. I don't know if I've listened to an album as extensively and intensely and lovingly(?) since I started listening to The Avett Brothers last fall. So. Good. Awesomeness. <---link to my favorite song on the album, "Houdini," with lyrics. Because they're great. It's great.

Notice the new bloggity design. Thoughts?

Hebrew makes me experience quite a range of emotions. It mostly makes me hard on myself and negative. Then I figure something out and I'm awesome. Then I'm positive. Then I'm like "YEAH, you can do this." Despair. "Keep going! YOU. CAN. DO. THIS." I admit to being somewhat lazy. I don't want to work as hard as I have to in Hebrew. I need to be eatingsleepingbreathingHebrew. I'm not. Then I'm frustrated by my ineptitude. And I want a 4.0. And I wanna please Dr. Appold. And be awesome. Also, one of my Junior year goals is to be a beast at Hebrew. So I need some sort of accountability or better system or something. Because clearly I kinda suck at self-motivation.

For the record, I already accomplished one of my Junior year goals: Ring the church bell at St. Paul's. Happy day.

I laughed a lot with my roommate today. It was beautiful, and I think I might have laughed so hard I almost cried once. I really needed that today. So grateful.

I've been thinking on love. I want to be loved. And I want to love. And these do not have to be in a strictly romantic capacity. There are SO many people in this world and SO much caring to be done. 1 Corinthians 13 does not mean "But this is only for your husband/bf/fiance..." It is love that we are to do (as Christ first loved us) to humanity. Cultivate love in lives.

I Thought Yesterday was Tuesday...

Don't worry, I still went to all my Monday classes and meetings and such. I just felt like the week had been longer already. Sad.

I have to do a presentation Friday morning in my Ancient Philosophy class on Pythagoras (or P-thugz, as I affectionately call him.) So I went to Pickler today and got some books. The books are pretty. And fall colors.

Artistic picture of books.

What I've learned about Pythagoras so far: It's very likely he didn't really have anything to do with the Pythagorean Theorem, and he pretty much had a cult following. Also a golden thigh, or so the rumors say. This will be interesting.

Also, today in the Dear Abby section of the Post-Dispatch:

Dear Abby. I am deeply in love with two wonderful women. I know I have to let one go, but I don't want to break either one's heart. Instead of "dumping" one of them, can I explain the situation to them and ask that one of them dump ME?

I don't understand this. It makes me sad, confused, and kinda angry. Also disturbed.

 "Up and Up" by Relient K is kinda my favorite song right now/I'm trying to make it my theme song sorta. It's good stuff. Despite that, I am actually listening to Bon Iver right now. Also good stuff.

I just remembered I need to write a thank-you note before I go to Hebrew. Which means I'm going to put off vocab studying a little bit longer. But I shouldn't put it off long.

Really, I just wanna curl up on a couch with friends and watch TV and talk, sipping hot drinks. Perhaps after an afternoon of leaf-jumping and fall picture-taking. That sounds lovely, doesn't it? Well, Hebrew calls.


"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." -Romans 12:12

Juxtapositions

Oh, it's been forever since I've posted. As much as I feel like I've somewhat gotten into the routine of this school year, there's still other things (such as blogging, keeping in touch with non-Truman people, exercising) that are not in the routine as they should be. Sigh.

My birthday was Tuesday. And it was the best birthday I've had. I wore a pretty dress (Tricia's), had a beautiful birthday crown, cards, hugs, surprises, well-wishes, delicious food, and a festive apartment. :) And love. Lots of love. I'm not planning on taking the festive decorations down for quite some time. So long as my roommate is not bothered by them, they are staying up.

A glimpse at the festiveness of the apartment.

My roommate and I also "finished" our apartment. Meaning, we crafted a poster with Jeremiah 29:11-13 and also we put up glow in the dark stars in our bedroom. I've wanted glow in the dark stars my whole life and now finally have them! Dreams do come true. :)

Also! Here is my internet-official declaration: I am not going to complain about the weather this school year.

Yeah. It's already been a bit of a challenge. However, it has improved my mood and outlook. I'm excited for the challenge! I will hopefully be using this blog for accountability in that.

This semester presents a good many challenges, aside from not complaining about the weather. I find myself all too often much less motivated than I should be, and much less hard-working than I ought. However, this semester is the first time that I can think of when I've honestly had to resist ambitions, so as not to ridiculously overbook myself. Weird.

This week has been an incredible mixture of stressing and blessing. I'm feeling fairly content right now. And need to get to bed, so I cannot write more. Should not.

I'll leave you with a thought:

I hope to never outgrow the joy in small things and to look upon things in child-like wonder. Yet I hope to grow in grace and wisdom and knowledge of him and his ways.

My desire is not to "grow up," but it is to grow upward.